Emotional Intelligence – Time for a cry

This Sunday evening completely out of the blue I ended up having a much needed cry. For many people it is exactly what they should do too but they don’t. I’m not proposing everyone stops what they are doing and have a cry for crying’s sake but what I am advocating is getting in touch with your inner emotions and allowing yourself to have a cry when you feel you need it. You might just feel better for it and it is a sign of Emotional Intelligence.

I can say wholeheartedly I am absolutely fine, I am not unhappy, depressed or anything else to raise concern. I am tired at the moment but that is partially self-inflicted and partially down to learning a huge amount of stuff at work, which can be a bit overwhelming at times. I also have a great number of friends out here, many of whom I can go and get hugs from (I love a good hug).

To be honest in many ways I think I have been well overdue a cry, especially with all the changes that have gone on over the last couple of months in my life. Not once have I shed a tear since arriving in Canada (until Sunday just gone), which is pretty remarkable considering I have moved away from all familiarity to a new country; I am away from my girlfriend, family, and friends all of whom I miss a great deal, and I have started a new job.

Any one of these can be enough to shed a tear over. It’s also, I think, in part down to the time of year. For me this year will be my first Christmas away from my family and my girlfriend. Yesterday I was at a Christmas parade with friends and although the parade itself was nothing spectacular that sense of not having those you’re close to at this time of year really came to the fore. Mix into that the shorter daylight hours and it is easy to end up feeling a little bit Eeyore once and a while.

Eeyore - Very apt for the weather here
Eeyore – Very apt for the weather here

Why having a cry is good for you?

Having a cry has been shown medically to be hugely beneficial to your health, be it a 5 minute cry like I had or a half hour or longer cry. Crying is one of the most natural things in our lives. For most of us it is the first thing we do when we enter this world and yet bizarrely it is so often repressed as we get older and, for men especially, the need to be seen as ‘holding it together’ means crying becomes a sign of weakness not strength and natural. Holding onto sadness and pent up tears can cause more harm than good. We’ve all got that person we know who is deeply sad but either plays the joker or gets angry rather than show how they actually feel.

With the month of Movember just behind us, having a good cry seems quite apt as the foundation places a great focus on the importance of looking after mental health. I know having had one I feel much more refreshed, if not a little tired from it.

Overall I am a big advocator for doing what you feel you need to do. On that note I leave you with this thought, if you need to cry then cry, if you’re lonely seek comfort, and if you know someone who just needs a good hug, give them a hug.

Back to my usual self
Back to my usual self

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